It's been a while...again...

I find myself with less and less to say lately.
My mind has been betraying me and I'm afraid my words will do the same.
I don't take my own advice...well..I do, but only to a certain extent.
Me alone equals not good cause no matter how much I tell people to not think about things, things get thunk about and the end results are confusion and frustration often accompanied with reddening eyes.


Unintentionally, a lot of things have gone Siamese on me and no matter how much I tell myself one thing, no matter how true it is, there is another thing to accompany it, that is also equally as true, but just sort of turns things into a complex series of patterns that just keep repeating and repeating in my mind and in my heart.

I am split in two
past and present
one left behind
one to move on
I am scared
I am lonely
I am sad
I am happy
I am ecstatic
I am not lonely anymore

where does it go?
It goes where it wants
But where does it truly want to be?
It wants to be where it should.
But where should it be?

Everything in the world is great.
I can't be alone
if I'm alone
I remember how unfair this world is
but how great this world is as well.

I don't know
but I do know
but I don't
I will know...

eventually.