Who Am I and Who Should I Be?

I'm starting to question myself now, because one person said something and it really hit me pretty hard. I don't know what to do now. Is who I am just to be taken as a joke? No one takes me seriously. I say something serious, and people think it's a joke. What is left of me...? I don't think I can redeem myself from this. All my life it's been like this, and now I think I finally know why. But then what am I supposed to do? People don't take me as who I am, they all take me as what I am, which apparently is a fucking joke. Ignore everything I am. Don't take me seriously. Look past me to someone who will do something better than I ever will, and with a serious attitude, nonetheless. How do I come across to you? That kid who likes to make jokes just because? Or or, let me rephrase that: That kid who likes to make stupid bad jokes that makes nobody laugh, in fact, it just makes people walk away and not want to talk to me anymore. Don't lie to me, if there's something I do or make or create, like something I write, such as a story, or poem or song, or something I say that is just stupid, tell me what you think. I don't care what it is that you say, all I care is that you say something. Don't fight for words to form lies to say, "Oh, uh, yeah, it's good, I like it." Tell me what you think, if you don't like it, it doesn't mean that it's horrible, or maybe it is, but it doesn't mean I am going to hate you or be mad at you for it.

Ah, I just...I need to be taken more seriously, but am I to abandon things that I believe in order to be taken more serious, in order to live life according to a standard? I don't want a standard to live by.

I want people to know who I am and what I can do. I want people to see me as more than just the stupid kid who likes to make fun, crack lame jokes no one laughs at, talk all the time because he feels he has to, give his opinion on something just because he wants to contradict you, etc.

The other day, I was sitting at a table and a girl walks up and asks, "Hey, do you play guitar?"

I respond, "Yes."

"Oh, yeah, it is you. I just wanted to say I've heard you, you're really good. You're sorta famous around here." She said to me. (Something along those lines, not an exact quote)

I have no idea who his girl is. I don't think I had met her before, but it was nice to have something like that said to me. It makes me think all my hard work hasn't been a waste. She knows me as the kid who can do something, he can play guitar pretty well. Alas, that's just because she doesn't know me as the stupid annoying kid who thinks he has to talk and joke all the time, because that just seems to make everybody else forget or ignore everything else about me.

She doesn't know who I am, nobody knows who I am. I am not that kid who likes to crack lame jokes that no one laughs at, talk all the time just because he has to, give his opinion to you just cause he wants to contradict you or anything.

I want somebody to know who I am.